Day 7: I'm Thankful for my Parents

Parents...You can't live with them, but you can't live without them.  As a kid, I never wanted to leave them.  I hated being a way from home.  Then as a teenager I wanted to be everywhere but home. Then, when I went to college, I came home EVERY weekend except one for three years straight, AND my parents often met me in Anderson for dinner once a week.  I love my parents and still don't go a few days without seeing them. 

I am extremely thankful for my parents not only because they gave me life, but because they have done so much for me over the past 29 years.  As a kid they came to pick me up no matter the time even after I swore I would spend the night with someone, but i suddenly got a "stomach ache" (aka homesick).  My mom and dad rarely ever bought anything for themselves and often wore their clothes completely out so that we could have nice clothes.  They sacrificed, fundraised, and borrowed money so that I could cheer and do pageants. They never missed a game, cheer competition, pageant, or performance...EVER! They held me tight, defended me, and gave me a way out when I was bullied in high school.  They gave me a shoulder to cry on and were the object of my frustrations, hurt, and anger through the MANY times Brent broke my heart.  They helped me buy my first car.  When I lost some of my academic scholarship my sophomore year of college, Dad went and took money out of his 401K so that I could continue my education without taking out more student loans, and he even bought me a new computer.  Dad lost his job while I was in college, yet, he still made sure that I was able to have a nice wedding to remember. They cried as they watched me leave my parents a cleave to the man of my dreams.

Things haven't changed much since I've grown and left home.  My parents are still very present and involved in my life, and they still take care of me.  My parents have always been there for me ready to do whatever I need, from helping me set up my first classroom to packing up my last one.  They drove me to the hospital when I was in preterm labor with Camryn. They were my saving grace when I was so sick with Ellisyn and especially Crew.  They were at my house every single morning to get the girls ready for school, make them breakfast, and take them to school. They came and sat with me when I was too weak to get up and scared I would pass out.  They made sure I ate and drank even if I would just vomit shortly after intake.  They keep the babies two times a week so that I can get away and work without distraction.  They are my go to when I have no one else because I know that they'll be there.  They are the most awesome grandparents to my kids that I could ask for.  They invest so much into the life of my children.  Although they don't have much to give, they give what's most important...time and love, and they give it freely and without expectation. My parents not only gave me life, but they have enriched, blessed, and made my life so full of love and joy.  I am so thankful that God chose Rex and Jackie to be my parents!

 Mom, you are such a tremendous blessing in my life.  You have taught me so much,  You have shown me that with hard work and determination you can overcome.  I am so proud of you for not letting your disability stop you from trying and never being ashamed of it. I'm thankful for all the sacrifices you've made and the example you have given me of both a mom and grandma.  I'm thankful that today you are one of my best friends.  Most recently I am so thankful that you had the courage to stand in church and declare that you have put your faith and trust in Christ.  God has answered my prayer yet again! Thank you for being my number one fan and being proud of me.  I am proud to call you Mom!

Dad, thank you for being the first man I loved and showing me how I should be treated.  You love BIG, and I'm thankful for that big love always shown to me.  Thank you for teaching me how to solve problems on my own and never overstepping your boundaries during my growing pains.  Thank you for never putting extra pressure on me academically and always telling me, "It doesn't matter as long as you tried your best."  Thank you for working hard so I could go, do, and experience life.  Thank you for serving our country so that we can have freedom.  Thank you for letting me wrap you around my little finger.  I told Brent he had big shoes to fill with our girls because I wanted them to have a Daddy just as awesome as mine.  I'm very thankful for all the back scratches over the years...I couldn't have reached them without you!  Seriously, Daddy, you inspire me to be better and when I think of you, my heart is overwhelmed with love and sweet memories that I will forever cherish.

Mom and Dad, I love you infinitely, and I will be forever grateful for the blessing you are to me and my family! Today, I declare my thankfulness for Y-O-U!

Day 6: I'm Thankful for Crew

Brent always said if he had a girl he would put an ad  in the Awanna for her, but as you all know those girls mean the world to him.  However, he still had this manly desire within him to have a son of his own, to carry on his name, and to be his "little man."  Well to our surprise, that happened a lot sooner than we ever anticipated.  If you know me at all, you know that I am extra careful when it comes to birth control.  I had just finished nursing Elli and I didn't want to go back on birth control because of the way my body reacts to it.  It just so happens that there was this one night when it never even crossed my mind, even until the next day when I was folding laundry and realized what I did, or forgotten to do for that matter.  AHHHHH!  Well, that's how Crew came to be...only I don't see it as irresponsibility or forgetfulness, I now see it as God taking control so that His blessings could be abundant in my life.  At the time I cried and cried because I didn't think that I could do it quite yet. Elli had only just turned one a few weeks ago.  But today, I couldn't imagine my life without my little lack of memory!

For any of you who were around through Crew's pregnancy you know exactly where I'm about to go.  If you read my blog about Ellisyn yesterday, and thought, "awe poor girl had a tough pregnancy," that was nothing in comparison to Crew's.  We were able to keep our little secret until Christmas Day when we revealed our "surprise" with everyone through a picture puzzle to share our wonderful news.  Not everyone was as excited as I would have hoped, but all that mattered was that we were!  I guess it kind of gets old when you announce pregnancies about 18 months apart huh? Anyways, the first week in January is when my sickness hit me like a brick wall.  The doctor already knew what could happen so he was Johnny on the spot with trying to offer me relief.  He knew it was my thyroid once again causing the Hyperemisis.  He got me on meds at once, but it was so hard to get it regulated.  He referred me to home health care and I had to be on a Zofran pump to ease the nausea, but Zofran in large amounts causes migraines, especially when your dehydrated in the first place.  Now not only did I have to stick myself everyday with a new needle in the belly to administer the Zofran, but I also had to have an IV in 24/7 to administer fluids and vitamin therapy.  I was so weak. I couldn't eat or drink without puking. I couldn't bathe myself, and I certainly couldn't take care of the girls.  I had to be out of work for the remained of the school year.  My parents had to step in and get the kids to school each day, and Brent had to be super dad.  He worked all day, came home cleaned and cooked, and got the kids ready for the next day.  I know I have an AWESOME man, but I already told you that on day one!  From all the vomiting I was a whopping 96 lbs. and looked like Bella Swan when she was pregnant with her little vampire baby.  I was convinced that Crew too would be a vampire! It was a depressing, overwhelming, and all out terrible experience, but God was teaching me a lesson, how to depend on others.

 When we went for our 20 week ultrasound to reveal the sex, I was so nervous because I wanted Brent to finally get his boy, but I was sure it was going to be a girl.  The technician pointed his boy parts out and I burst into tears.  I was going to be a mommy to a boy...uh-oh, I was going to have a boy!  What do I do with a boy? Can I do this? I don't know anything about boys!!!!  Once my fears were calmed and it settled in, I was "tickled blue".  We were going to have the 5th generation William Johnson. 

I am thankful for Crew's delivery.  It was by far my favorite even though I felt more pain.  I was relaxed and it was very special. It was my last.  I loved it just being Brent and me at the hospital without the pressure of feeling like I had to entertain others or being worried about how others would react to my request for them to leave the delivery room until the baby was delivered and cleaned up.  It was also special because it had been a hard time in my life and I was about to see my reward (or vampire) face to face.  I am thankful because I was able to really experience Crew's delivery and enjoy it.  What a miracle baby he was! A baby who should be malnourished and underweight from my inability to nurture my own body comes out a whopping 8 lbs.  Yes, I felt this one friends!!!  When they pulled him out and handed him to me, all those hard feelings from the sickness, swollen legs and feet, and lack of room to eat and breathe toward the end, disappeared instantly.  I was in love yet again!  This baby boy has had me wrapped ever since.  My surprise wrapped in blue!

I'm thankful for Crew because he was unexpected, but he's shown me that unexpected can be wonderful!  I'm thankful that I was able to stay home with him this whole first year of his life and to have been able to nurse him for the first year of his life.  That bonding time has meant the world to me because it was a time for just he and I when we could sit in the quiet (sometimes) and we could just stare at one another and soak up every moment.  I'm thankful that he's a good sleeper because that first few months was hard.  I like my sleep and all he wanted to do was cuddle and EAT!  I'm thankful that Crew has been so different than the girls.  Even though his different is often harder it's so neat to see his boy personality develop.  I'm thankful for his love of balls because he's super easy to please.  All you have to do is give him a ball and you have a happy boy.  I'm thankful that his first word was "ma-ma".  I'm thankful for his absolutely heart-melting giggle.  I also love his ability to be in an all out tantrum and all you have to do it tickle him and he will stop instantly and say, "tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle,".  He gives the sweetest open-mouth, slobbery kisses you'll ever receive saying, "mmm-mmmaaaahhhh".  Boys certainly do have a way with their mommy!

Crew is an amazing little boy who came to us at the perfect time.  He's a spitting image of his daddy at this age, and that's a GREAT thing because it just means he's going to be one handsome man whose going to make some young girl as happy as I am!  I'm thankful that I will always be Crew's first love and first kiss.  I'm thankful that God saw fit for me to not only raise two girls to be women of influence, but also for entrusting me to raise a mighty Man of God.  That's a tall order these days, but God doesn't give us more than we can handle.   Thank you God for my "Crew Man" and for the calling you have placed on his life.  I am honored to be his mommy!

Day 5...I am Thankful for Ellisyn

For this child I prayed and prayed.  After a miscarriage and an incredibly dark time for me, I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to have anymore children of my own.  As a matter of fact, at that time I wasn't sure I could even try because I didn't think I could endure the heartache of it happening again.  However, after hearing God clearly say, "Do not fear, for I am with you."  I began to pray and fast for another child alongside a special friend of mine P. Collins.  In our sixth month of trying to conceive I began to feel discouraged.  I went in for my annual appointment with my awesome OBGYN and expressed my concern with our lack of success with conception.  He offered to prescribe me a medicine to help us, but I kept hearing this voice inside me saying, "You don't need medicine. Trust me. I am able.  Let me prove it to you." I told Dr. Heidtman that I wasn't quite ready to "play God", as I saw it in my situation, and if we weren't successful in a few months, I may try.  Well, God is a God who keeps His promises and who is never late.  We conceived that very month.  I remember the moment I found out. I peed on that little stick and walked away because I just knew it would be negative.  When I walked back to check it 5 minutes later, to my shock I saw a bright pink double line.  I remember finding myself jumping up and down, giggling and crying simultaneously, and squealing a softly as I could because Camryn was napping.  I even faintly remember doing one of those "YES!" gestures...you know the one where you ball your fist and pull it to your side, and on this one the knee even came up:)...Needless to say, I was so very excited.  The first person I told was P.Collins because she had fasted and prayed with me for this little miracle.  Her reaction was much the same as Brent's as I told him when he returned home, tears and joy.  God had blessed us!

Little did I know that just weeks later, the morning sickness would begin.  I was able to keep it under wraps until after our first ultrasound (to ensure the baby was healthy and viable) so we could tell the family.  After that it was just a puking fest.  After three visits and hospital stays for Hyperemisis and dehydration caused by my hyperthyroidism and a terrible first 20 weeks of pregnancy, I could finally eat without throwing all of it up.  I even managed to put on some weight.  After that came preterm labor, and I had to be put out of work yet again, but when it was time for Ellisyn to come, she decided she was too cozy and I had to be induced.  We knew at that point we would have our work cut out for us with this stubborn little girl.  Induction went well, until we realized she was facing the wrong way (of course she couldn't be normal).  After hours of trying to turn her, she finally made her debut.  To my amazement she was perfect, not malnourished, not lacking anything, and she actually weighed more that Camryn.

Before Ellisyn was born I was worried that I couldn't love her like I loved Camryn.  I was worried that I wouldn't have enough love to share, but it's utterly amazing the immediate love and connection I felt the first time I looked into her beautiful eyes.  I was in love yet again.  When Elli was an infant my father-in-law used to tease me that she had to be plugged in because she was literally attached to my hip and if you removed her she just cried and cried.  That baby loved her mommy!

I am so thankful for Ellisyn's fun-loving spirit.  She is determined to have fun with whatever she is doing.  I tell her on a daily basis that she better be glad she's cute.  She is a booger, but she is also a very sweet child who understands when an apology is necessary.  She is strong-willed and determined often times to the point of it getting her into trouble, but that determination is definitely a God given quality that she'll use for His glory one day, once she learns how to use it appropriately.  She was once a girl of few words, but now you can't get her to stop talking.  I'm thankful for her little phrases that bring an instant smile to my face like, "UGH! REALLY?!," "You got it dude",  "I love you big much!"

I am also thankful for her subtle reminders that she is listening to what we teach her.  From her made up songs about "God, Jesus" to her practicing counting and saying her "ABCDs".  I am also thankful that she is easy to read.  Being the middle child can be so hard because you're too little to do what big Sissy does and too big to do what baby brother does.  It's hard to know where you fit in.  I'm thankful that she has such a big personality and expresses her emotion so well that I can see when she's feeling like a middle child and meet her need to belong or be included.  I don't want her to ever feel like she has to be like Camryn or Crew because she is clearly unique and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Today I am thankful for my three year old ball of fire, test the limits kind of gal, full speed ahead, tough as nails, sweet as pie, playful, sensitive, headstrong, beautiful, shy, one of a kind...My Elle Belle!

Elli, thank you for being exactly who you are. I hope you are always comfortable in your skin because you are amazing! Thank you for reminding me that smiling and having fun should always be a top priority in life.  You, my sweet girl, are going to do incredible things in life!  Thank you for loving me "big much" and supplying me with endless "wittle and big kisses".  These will be forever cherished! I love you Ellisyn Michelle!

Day 4...I'm Thankful for Grace!

Grace means getting something that you don't deserve.  I've always found it difficult to accept grace from anyone whether it be someone buying my meal, giving me a compliment, and especially the grace offered through Jesus.  Before fully understanding grace, I found myself on this depressing cycle of trying to earn grace.  I would get wrapped up in doing good so that I could prove to God that I was good.  My misconception allowed me to disappoint myself over and over again over the years because I am human and I am a sinner.  What I failed to understand was the fact that I am a sinner, but I am a sinner saved by grace.

Because of Jesus, I do not have to "be good enough".  His blood has already washed away all my blemishes.  I don't have to try harder, do better, etc...God meets me right where I am, and He loves me despite all my junk.  He freely extends His grace to me over and over again.  It is because of His grace that I can walk confidently knowing that I am a beloved child of God, formed by God, for a purpose which He created just for me to accomplish through Him with the knowledge that I am indeed good enough for Him through the grace of Jesus. 

Without grace, I am hopeless, defeated, a failure, and will never be good enough.  Because of grace alone, I am redeemed, righteous, sanctified, holy, and a daughter of the Living God.  Thank you God for showing me the true meaning of grace.  I will forever be thankful for the grace extended to man through the blood of Jesus!

Day 3: I'm Thankful for Camryn

When I was younger, my only ambition was to one day be a mommy.  It's the only thing that I always knew that I wanted to be.  However, I never knew that it would be this amazing, hard, heart-breaking, and rewarding.  On March 23rd, 2007, God put my lifelong dream into a reality.  I still remember that day though vaguely and all the nerves, anticipation, love, and excitement that came when the doctor placed her in my arms.  I remember sobbing uncontrollably at the sight of her perfection. I counted her ten fingers and toes and stared into her big blue eyes.  I remember lying awake that first night laying my hand on her chest just to ensure she was still breathing.  She was the perfect baby...that is until we left the hospital.  Our first night home enlightened me to the realities of parenthood.  Because my milk had not yet come in, she was hungry and was not satisfied unless I was feeding her.  I would feed her and she'd fall asleep so I would place her back in the bassinet only for her to wake up 30 minutes later wanting to eat.  I remember waking up in tears and asking Brent, "What did we get ourselves into?  I can't do this.  I'm going to be a terrible mom."

Well, as you can see she's made it through six years and so have I and while everyday has not been as challenging as our first night home, there are still nights of little rest, but I'll take those anytime if it means getting to be her mommy!  I am so thankful that Camryn is a typical first born.  She's so smart and picks up on things very easily.  She takes care of business and makes sure EVERYTHING is done just right.  She's bossy and super particular.  She loves to do things right and be praised for a job well done.  She has big plans for her future...At age 2 she wanted to be a flower...pretty ambitious right?!  Since then she has expanded her dreams to all of the following careers: a cook, a doctor, a mommy (of 2 kids, a boy and a girl...b/c you know you get to pick), and a teacher.  Well, one thing is for sure whatever she does, I know it will include bossing someone around:).

I'm thankful that Camryn is such a great big sister.  I watch her interact with Ellisyn, which to be perfectly honest is fighting about 80% of the time, but the other times, I watch as she teaches Ellisyn new things, picks her up when she falls, plays imaginative games, puts on fashion shows and dance performances, and showing Elli how to live a carefree life without the restraint of others watching you.  I'm thankful that she's such a positive role model for how to behave for brother and sister.  She is so good to Crew too.  She gets so excited with every milestone he's hit and encourages him in trying new things.  She loves her brother!

I'm also thankful for Camryn's heart of service.  Wherever she goes, and whatever she does, she always wants to help.  She gets such joy out of helping others.  Whether it be washing dishes with Aunt Margaret or helping Miss Vickie pick up trash after our Easter Service at the High School, she's so excited to help.  I hope she always keeps that attitude.

Most of all, I'm thankful for her unconditional love.  Although I discipline her, disappoint her, and make her quite mad at times, she readily forgives me and extends love and grace to me almost immediately.  When this baby loves, she loves big. "A friend loves at all times." Her ability to forgive and love inspires me and reminds me that I need to be more like her, my six year old baby girl.  As much as she thinks I teach her, she teaches me so much more.

Camryn, thank you for being exactly who you are.  I am so thankful that God chose me to be your mommy.  You are such an amazing blessing in my life, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for your life.  You are going to do great things through He who makes you GREAT!  I love you tttthhhiiissss much my Cammy-Cam! 

Day 2: Today I am thankful for Jesus

Brent was honored to be number one this year as proven by his Facebook post, " Ha #1 this year. Take that Camryn, Ellisyn, and Crew."  Well Brent sorry to disappoint you. You were day one, but you'll never be #1 because there's another man who will forever hold that spot.  Daddy, don't go getting the big head quite yet because it's not you either.  Number one will forever be my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I know that makes both Brent and my Daddy happy to know they fall behind Him. That's how it's supposed to be.  If my relationship with Jesus is right, then my relationships with others will be right too.  We are called to put God first in our lives so today I thank God for sending his one and only Son Jesus to come and die on the cross for my sins.  He paid the price for every sin past, present, and future so that I wouldn't have to.  Who wouldn't be thankful for that?

Jesus came to earth through the Virgin Mary.  Yes, I said Jesus was born from a virgin.  He was conceived by the Holy Spirit in Mary's womb.  I don't know or understand how that came to be, but that's what makes it so great. That's how awesome God is!  Jesus lived a sinless life.  That means that he was faced with every trial, temptation, and sin known to man, yet at the end of His life he was still blameless, righteous, our spotless lamb.  He knew the path of His life.  He knew what was to come of Him and, still, he stuck in there and endured punishment and ridicule that should have been ours.  He experienced being mocked, bullied, and accused of things He never did.  He was even beaten and nailed to a cross, carried his cross to the place where he would die with a crown of thorns placed on His head mocking Him as "king of the Jews."  What love God must have for me to send His one and ONLY Son into the world and watch Him endure all these terrible things just so I can have a relationship with Him!  Now that's love because I know how painful to watch your children hurt. It's almost unbearable, but God loved me that much!



Because of Jesus and my relationship with Jesus through the Lord Almighty, I know that I can one day stand before God righteous, blameless, spotless, His perfect daughter and share in the inheritance of heaven and forever live in the presence of my heavenly father praising Him forever.  Oh what a day that will be!!!  If you are reading this and don't know Jesus, I encourage you to seek Him.  He's there just waiting on you to call on the name of God and put your faith in trust in Him and what he did there on the cross for you and for me.  I want you to also be thankful for Jesus today and the rest of your life!

I am Thankful for my Husband

I am usually terrible about keeping up with a routine so I apologize in advance if my "scatter-brainedness" overcomes my good intentions yet again.  I love the Thanksgiving season and not just because of the food.  I love traditions, the family gatherings, the crafts, the colors, the beauty of God's great creation, and I love being reminded to have a thankful heart.  However, with the hustle and bustle of the Halloween festivities this week I forgot that today was November 1st, the first day of putting my thankful heart into words.  My goal is to write a post each day of something that I am thankful for.  Last year my husband was terribly offended that I wasn't thankful for him on first few days so just to appease him, I'll express my thankfulness for him first.  Just kidding guys, he did give me a hard time last year, but believe me, I am oh so thankful for him.

Today and everyday, whether he's driving me insane, nitpicking, being a slob, or being the sweetest, most adorable man ever, I am thankful for my soul-mate, partner in crime, my better half, my husband Brent.  Who would have ever thought as many times as he broke my heart in high school that we would be where we are today, happily married with three beautiful children and faithfully living each day with the intention of shining the light of Jesus to all those we encounter?  Do we fail?  Absolutely more than once a day, but we serve a God who is in the business of grace...giving us the forgiveness we do not deserve...FREELY. 

If you've seen Brent, you know he is about as handsome as they come (despite this No Shave November thing he does each year...FYI, he began in October this year. YIKES!).   However his appearance is a lot lower on his list of things I love about him.  First and foremost, I love the man he is in Christ.  I am so very thankful for his commitment to lead our family in such a way that honors God.  He thinks he out kicked his coverage, but ladies, believe me when I say that I am the lucky one!  I feel incredibly blessed that God chose me to be his suitable helper. 

I thankful for the father Brent is to our children.  He loves our girls well, and he has given them such an incredible example of how a man treats his wife.  I pray that when they become interested in boys that they look for someone just like their daddy!  He has and will continue to be an example for Crew.  I'm thankful that Crew will be shown how to be a man of God first and foremost, but also to be a leader and someone who isn't afraid to show emotion and who loves whole-heartedly. 

I am thankful for the husband Brent has become.  We started off rocky expecting marriage to be easy and with me giving and him doing a whole lot of taking.  After years, many arguments later, and us putting Christ at the center of everything, we've found each other once again. Now eight years later, I can honestly say that I love this man more and more with each passing day.  Do I love him the same as the day we married? Nope. Do I still get butterflies? Nope, but what I can say is that I do love him differently, more deeply and my stomach may not flutter with each kiss, but my heart does swell and I'm overcome with the love that's communicated with each one.  I am so thankful for his determination to hang in there when I'm being a brat, stubborn, or giving him the silent treatment. I'm thankful that he has learned me so well and now knows how to diffuse situations and stop conflicts before they begin.  I am thankful for his forgiving spirit that doesn't hold grudges.  I wish I were more like that!  I'm thankful for the simple texts that say, "I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you," or the sweet notes that make me cry every time.  I'm thankful that he notices my effort and thanks me for the little things that often go unnoticed.  I'm thankful for the little gifts that he gives just because.  No, they're not anything big or expensive, but my husband remembering the things I like (Resee Pumpkins, fuzzy socks, pajama pants) and that he knows I won't buy for myself means so much and certainly make me feel treasured.  Who needs diamonds when you have chocolate and peanut butter??? 

I am thankful for his companionship.  Knowing that I have someone to turn to in the good, the bad, and the ugly times is so reassuring.  He know just what to say (most of the time anyways) and gives great advice. I'm thankful that we can have fun together and act like complete idiots, but we can also be serious. I'm thankful that we've created so many firsts together.  We were baptized together and this year we even got our first tattoos.  I'm thankful that he pushes me to be more spontaneous. 

I'm thankful that he still finds me beautiful.  After three kids, your body changes, and while it may not appear much different to people who don't see me everyday, but those changes can make a woman feel vulnerable and insecure.  I'm thankful that I have someone standing behind me in the mirror as I'm pointing out all the imperfections saying, "You're beautiful."  Although he may not think it makes any difference, IT DOES!  I'm thankful that he notices when I fix up nicely and appreciates the extra effort.  Sorry I'm too lazy to do it all the time:)

I could go on and on telling you all that I'm thankful for Brent for, but we would be here forever, and I don't want to let out all my secrets and have you trying to steal my husband;).

 Brent, thank you for all you do for me and our family.  I hope you know how much you are appreciated and loved!  I also hope you cry as you read this!  You're amazing and you bring so much joy and happiness in my life.  Thank you for being exactly who you are. I love you to the moon and back times infinity. Thanks for being my prince charming. MUAH!