Continual Failure...Is this Really What I Should Be Doing?

I knew even before I ever took the five love languages assessment what my primary love language would be.  I am a girl who LOVES to be served.  If you want me to see how much you love me, don't buy me roses or even a new car and don't give me hugs and kisses. This girl right here thrives when people do random acts of kindness.  Nothing says I love you more than me coming home to a chore that my hubby has completed just for me so that I did not have to worry about it. Since acts of service is my love language, I tend to show my love by serving others as well. 

Our grass was a in need of a mowing yesterday because of all this rain we've had the past few days.  Since Brent has been getting off work late and working six days a week, I decided that I would cut the front yard for him so that he could hang out with the kids for a bit and of course to show that I love and appreciate him.  There have been very few occasions where me on a lawn mower have turned out well. Once I ran my in-laws John Deer into the fence on the fastest setting and nearly broke my wrist.  I've ran over a stump and bent the blades. I've knocked the piece off that flaps up where the grass comes out.  I've bogged it down and it smoked like crazy because I overwhelmed it with all the grass I was trying to cut at once.  I don't know if the yard looks much better after I finish cutting because I miss random patches of grass and I'm not brave enough to maneuver it to get in the tight places.  Well, what happened yesterday has made it very clear to me that I do NOT belong on the lawn mower! 

The oil was low in the mower so I put some oil in it before I began my mowing adventure. I began by making it clear that I was the one who did the mowing...I knocked nearly every stone outlining our planter in the front yard out of place. Great start right?!  I am sure that whenever my neighbors hear our lawn mower crank they peek out the blinds to see if it's me cutting, and if it is, they secretly watch through the cracks and laugh the whole time.  Really...I am THAT bad!  A lot of swirly lines in the grass and a few random patches left uncut later and the front yard is complete and without terrible incident.  Go me! But wait...Why is my foot drenched and the lawnmower smoking like a chimney?  Yep, that's right friends, this expert mechanic forgot to put the oil cap on all the way and oil was EVERYWHERE.  I vowed to Brent from that moment on that I would not cut grass again.  From now on, "It's all yours babe!"

 (Take a good look because this won't be happening again!)

Have you ever REALLY wanted to be good at something that you just couldn't seem to master or even do somewhat well or frankly, you "stunk it up" each time you tried?  That's how I feel about cutting grass (on a riding mower).  I enjoy the peacefulness of it and just being outside interacting with God's beautiful creation.  I like it too because it gives me a break from housework and mommy tasks.  However, every time I do it it makes me feel less than and incompetent and down-right defeated. 

Odds are if you're feeling this way about something that YOU desire to excel in and keep failing, then this is not what GOD has planned for you.  God has created us all differently for a purpose. 1 Corinthians 12:12-20 makes this crystal clear for us.  Take a minute and read it.  Verse 18 speaks especially to this fact. "But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body (of Christ), every one of them, just as He wanted them to be."  That's right you and I are just as he wants us to be!  He has given us talents, gifts, and beauty just as we are.  These are the things that "come natural" to us.  We don't have to long for those talents, gifts, and/or worldly beauty that we lack, but instead we should concentrate and focus our time and effort into praising Him for blessing us with the talents and gifts that He created us for. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.  I firmly believe that when we are in line with God's will for our lives that He will give us everything we need to complete the task at hand and it will come more naturally to us.  That's not to say that we won't encounter hardship because the enemy is on the prowl, always looking for a way to attack where we are unguarded.  What I am reminded of today is that God is with us always and when we are seeking Him and His will for our lives He will grant us Godly success in our adventures.  I also believe that He will give us confidence in our talents, gifts, and abilities because 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and self-discipline."

While my lack in capabilities to mow the lawn may seem like a silly example to use for revealing spiritual gifts and God-given talents, it is a was a great reminder to me to remain focused on the things that He has called me to do for Him and not to long to do the "more desirable jobs" or easier ones or even the ones I enjoy doing more.  God has blessed me with the ability to be a mother and housewife first and foremost to my beautiful family and that's where my talents and abilities should be focused here and now.  At times it's going to be hard, but I must press on and do it unto the Lord because the Lord has promised me that spiritual fruit will come from my obedience.

So friends if you are struggling "to cut the grass" today, then get into God's word prayerfully and ask Him to reveal His plans for you.  Ask Him to enlighten you on your talents and gifts that He has designed especially for you so that you may do the task that your spiritual body part was designed to do unto Him. Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  Ask God today believing that He will show you!

God bless!

In Your Face Satan!!!

If you don't know me, here's what you must know about me before you will find this the least bit entertaining...I'm not very adventurous.  I DESPISE being late for anything.  I'm a complete klutz. I am not a fan of heights. Situations of inadequacy or mess-ups overwhelm me.  I lose my keys or my phone a minimum of 10 times a day:).  

Today began quite nicely. I began my day with my memory verse for the week and wrote a note of encouragement to a victim of human trafficking from A21 Ministries and prayed over the card as I sealed the envelope. I felt a little skeptical of the impact my little note could have in this lady's life, but I prayed that the seed He provided me to give to her would fall on fertile soil.  Next thing on the to-do list was to get to our local high school to provide some yummy snacks for the kids attending the softball/baseball camp.  I had plenty of time, and I was probably going to be there early (yep, you guessed it...I'm kid free today at work).  I got my basket and my purse, locked the door behind me, and pulled it closed as I realized the instant I heard the door latch that I FORGOT MY KEYS (or at least I think I did).

 

"AAAHHHHH! Tonya, you're such an idiot.  How did you walk out and leave your keys? Further more, you don't even know where you put them. How could you possibly be so dumb and irresponsible?  Now you're going to be LATE!!!"  Those were the words the enemy was screaming in my ears and what just about put me over the edge was the word late.  Suddenly, I realized no matter how dumb I felt, I still had snacks to get to the school to some hungry kids so I had to come up with a solution.  First point of business...Make sure the keys are actually in the office and you're not panicking for nothing.  Our walls do not extend to the ceiling in our office so I climbed on the play equipment in the preschool room and peeked over the edge. Yep they were there alright...Right on my desk in plain sight, but boy did those walls look higher from the top. Only about 9 ft. separated me from being able to lock up the office and crank my car.

(This is my view from on top of the wall. Do you see my keys???)

 

Solution number 1: Try to pick the lock. The ole license to the door latch did not work, and I've never picked a lock with a bobby pin before so that was not going to work.

Solution number 2: If only I had a magnet I could tape to the broom to get the keys.  Broom...no magnet. hmmm....

Solution number 3: Try to pick the lock again b/c I am going to break my leg jumping from the top of that wall as graceful as I am.Wait...There are keys to the other doors in our building. Tried them all and not one worked. Grrr...

Solution number 4: Call Brent (that's my husband). At this point I didn't know what else to do b/c only a few of us have keys to my office and no one else is available to bring me one.  Brent proceeded to tell me not to even attempt to jump from the top FIRST THING.  His bright idea was to tie a blanket to the playground and propel down the wall.  Then it occurred to me that I could go down on my belly.  I'm sure Brent was just as nervous as I was to even think about me doing it.  After being instructed to put my phone in my pocket so he could hear me and come to the rescue if I in fact killed myself, I climbed nervously to the top of the jungle gym and peeked over the wall with my heart pounding.  I got on top of the wall and straddled it like a professional cowgirl clinging to the wall as if my life depended on it.  I put a foot on my bookshelf and slid to my belly and yes ladies and gentlemen I "Spidermanned" it down the wall.  

The amount of sheer joy and accomplishment I felt when my feet touched the floor was so incredibly overwhelming.  I know that sounds completely pathetic, but I felt as if I could conquer the world.  However, I had business to do.  Conquering the world would have to come later.  I had to get those snacks to the high school!!! I was late, but only a few minutes and holding a story that made the ones who heard it smile.  

As I was driving home from the school I thought back to my morning.  I wonder what kept me from tears and rage and dwelling on all those negative words the enemy was feeding me which normally overwhelm me.  Typically when I'm placed in these situations my pessimistic and negative attitude emerge.  This time was different so I KNOW it was a God thing to have locked myself out so I asked, "God, what do you want me to learn from this situation today?"  

My thoughts immediately went to the note I prayed over this morning and the lady who would receive it and her "situation".  Granted my situation was NOTHING compared to hers, but it looked hopeless at the time just as I'm sure her situation may seem hopeless to her now.  The good news is, however, that no matter how hopeless our situations here on earth may appear to us, our God is bigger.  My thoughts go to Jesus.  Here he was brutally beaten, bleeding, and lying dead on a cross for my sins and your sins. To any ordinary human being that would have been it, but not for our Mighty God!  Three days later he arose from the grave and conquered death so that WE may live.  If our God can conquer death surely he can conquer our "situations" in life no matter how big or small. Today, my friends, I encourage you to give your "situation(s)" to Him and allow Him to conquer them for you.

Matthew 11:28-30 says,“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Glory to God for allowing me to see that you are with me through all my situations, big or small.  Thank you for making me stop to praise you for your mighty works in my everyday life.  Thank you also for not letting me fall on my face or break a leg:)  (I'm sure God laughed at that too...I think he has a good sense of humor).  I know that without you, just like any day I do not seek you, I will fall flat on my face, but thankfully, I know that you'll be there to pick me up and wipe away my tears.  All praise to you in the name of Jesus!