New Year's morning of 2015 will be a day that I look back on with both sadness and joy. When I went to bed on Dec. 31, 2014, I had no idea that I would wake up to such a nightmare. I got the call at 4:43 am saying that my brother was the passenger in a bad car accident and had hit his head and was unconscious. I jumped up out of the bed in a panic, threw some clothes on, brushed my teeth, and headed for the door. I met my sister-in-law at the hospital and we were escorted to the trauma family waiting room in the ER. We were there for what seemed like forever before the doctors came in. He said Chris has two small brain bleeds at his right temple and they would be moving him to ICU as soon as spot became available.Okay a brain bleed. He will be okay as long as it stops. Right?
My sister-in-law went back to see him in the trauma bay, but his vitals began to get out of control so they sent her out. The nurse came to give us an update that some things had changed. Chris had become combative and his vitals were dangerously high, which could cause further bleeding and damage so for his safety they had to put him on a ventilator and give him anesthesia.
Everything is under control now. He just has to rest so his bleeds will stop, and he will be okay.
Jan 1st Day 1 in ICU- Chris' vitals were stable. There were no real scares besides the fact that he was beat up, bleeding, and hooked to a ventilator. So many people came to visit and show support. The waiting room was full of people who love Chris. Today I stood beside Chris holding his hand and whispered a prayer, "God, please don't take him! Protect him. Heal him. Please don't take my brother. He's not ready." I grudgingly left that night in tears. I didn't want to leave.
Jan. 2nd Day 2 in ICU- Chris remained stable overnight and through the day. The nurses seemed to think that he should make a full recovery. Now that the initial shock of what had happened set in, my mind began to think "straighter". I stood over his bed and praised God for protecting Chris and allowing him to be alive another day. I prayed for healing and for the bleeding to stop. I prayed for God to allow me to see "life" in him. All anesthesia was off and he had no pain meds. The doctors wanted him to wake up. He stirred around throughout the day. My day was made when a life-long friend said to Chris, "Open your eyes and look at your sister, boy." He did just that for a brief second. Tears streamed down my face. Those were tears of joy. God loves me and cares about my desires so much that he allowed me to see that glimpse of life in my brother. He wasn't out of the woods yet and I knew that, but he was alive another day. The goal for tomorrow...Get that Vent out!!!
Jan. 3rd Day 3 in ICU- Yet another good night. Today was a great day. Chris was off all medication, the vent was taken out, but he was keeping a high fever (they assumed it was from the head injury because there was no other signs of infection). They took a sample to test for infection and he was placed on an ice blanket to control the fever. He was also very hard to wake up and would only stay awake for very short intervals of time. I'll take it as long as those peepers are opening and showing some life. He uttered a few names in his "Batman voice" as he saw familiar faces. I didn't want to leave his side because I didn't want to miss my chance of talking to him.
Jan. 4th Day 4 in ICU- The nurses were still having trouble controlling his temperature. Results of the culture had not come in yet, but growth on it showed he did in fact have an infection (they later found to be staff). He was still hard to wake up, but he was staying awake a little longer than the day before. Today was awesome because I got to spend some alone time by his side. When I first walked in he said, "Tonya, you're beautiful. I love you so much." We argued for a while about who loved each other more. I got to feed him so J-E-L-L-O and he said it was good...really good. He was very confused. He kept saying, "I must be really sick. huh?" He knew most of the people who visited, but he was quite confused about all else. He was now stable enough to move to a regular room on the neuro floor by the evening.
Jan. 5th GHS Neuro Floor- Chris was a lot more alert today. He interacted with many of his visitors and recognized most. He was still quite confused and having many episodes of not making sense. He ate a little more today and his voice was back to normal. They got him up to walk down the hall. He was very off balance and his stride was very clumsy. I think we all thought he would just get up and walk, but that's not what happened. The doctors shared their findings today that Chris' injury was not as simple as it initially seemed. What they thought were only 2 small brain bleeds later showed up to be a very, very severe traumatic brain injury that had damaged spots throughout his brain. I knew nothing about a TBI before today. They said that his recovery would take 6 months to a year and whatever progress he makes by that year mark will be his life-long state. Tough pill to swallow huh?
Six months to a year! That's an incredibly long time. What about his business that he loves and worked so hard to establish? What income while he's in the hospital? What if he is never the same? What if he can't do what he loves again? How is he going to react when he can comprehend and remember his condition? Will he be depressed or determined? What will come of all of this mess? This is going to require so much hard work and dedication and support. BUT...God is good. He is faithful. He will bring good from this tragedy. I must TRUST!
June 17, 2015
I had forgotten all about writing about the first few days of Chris being in the hospital, but I must confess that God led me back to this piece in His perfect timing to remind me of his power to do the impossible and His great love for me.
It's amazing to look back at this tragic and seemingly impossible time just six months ago and see how far God has brought my brother. He was deemed almost unintelligible on psychiatric testing and their prognosis was that he would probably never be able to work again. Now six months later he's back at it, running his own business. He is not quite the same Chris that he was before, and he's definitely much more forgetful. His eyesight is still not back to normal, but he is alive, fully-functional, able to provide for his family, and we get to have him here with us. For that I am so grateful to my gracious God! We weren't sure what the outcome would be, but God has certainly blessed him beyond measure. Through blessing him God also blessed me with both my brother and a life lesson to remember the power, greatness, faithfulness, trustworthiness, and love of God!
Things don't always turn out the way we expect or even the way we pray for them to turn out, but we must remember that God is able. I don't know what IMPOSSIBLE circumstance you may be facing today. Whether it be a relationship issue, financial troubles, health problems, depression, etc, please step back, listen, be still, and remember that He is God. Take time to look for Him in the midst of your storm. Ask Him to help you to see and feel His presence. Cling to the promises of His Holy Word. God is there. He's listening, watching, and waiting on you to call His name.
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
God, thank you for saving the life of my brother and preserving his ability to be fully functional as a business owner, doing what he loves. Thank you for allowing this tragic circumstance to mold me into a stronger daughter of God. I am so overwhelmed by your love for me and humbled for the little things you did along the way just to show me you were there hearing my prayers and to set my mind at ease. God, I pray that you take the difficult circumstance that I am facing today and you provide and set my mind at ease. I pray for my friends who are reading this piece right now that you pour out your grace and presence in their lives and whatever "impossible" situation they may be facing and you show them your power and love, just like you have shown me over the past 6 months. May their hearts cling to your promises and may they spend extra time seeking you through your word so that they may have peace, understanding, and direction. God, you are so good and we don't deserve you, but I'm so thankful that you freely pour out your grace in our lives day after day! May my life glorify you today and everyday. I love you, God. Amen!
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