Day 5...I am Thankful for Ellisyn

For this child I prayed and prayed.  After a miscarriage and an incredibly dark time for me, I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to have anymore children of my own.  As a matter of fact, at that time I wasn't sure I could even try because I didn't think I could endure the heartache of it happening again.  However, after hearing God clearly say, "Do not fear, for I am with you."  I began to pray and fast for another child alongside a special friend of mine P. Collins.  In our sixth month of trying to conceive I began to feel discouraged.  I went in for my annual appointment with my awesome OBGYN and expressed my concern with our lack of success with conception.  He offered to prescribe me a medicine to help us, but I kept hearing this voice inside me saying, "You don't need medicine. Trust me. I am able.  Let me prove it to you." I told Dr. Heidtman that I wasn't quite ready to "play God", as I saw it in my situation, and if we weren't successful in a few months, I may try.  Well, God is a God who keeps His promises and who is never late.  We conceived that very month.  I remember the moment I found out. I peed on that little stick and walked away because I just knew it would be negative.  When I walked back to check it 5 minutes later, to my shock I saw a bright pink double line.  I remember finding myself jumping up and down, giggling and crying simultaneously, and squealing a softly as I could because Camryn was napping.  I even faintly remember doing one of those "YES!" gestures...you know the one where you ball your fist and pull it to your side, and on this one the knee even came up:)...Needless to say, I was so very excited.  The first person I told was P.Collins because she had fasted and prayed with me for this little miracle.  Her reaction was much the same as Brent's as I told him when he returned home, tears and joy.  God had blessed us!

Little did I know that just weeks later, the morning sickness would begin.  I was able to keep it under wraps until after our first ultrasound (to ensure the baby was healthy and viable) so we could tell the family.  After that it was just a puking fest.  After three visits and hospital stays for Hyperemisis and dehydration caused by my hyperthyroidism and a terrible first 20 weeks of pregnancy, I could finally eat without throwing all of it up.  I even managed to put on some weight.  After that came preterm labor, and I had to be put out of work yet again, but when it was time for Ellisyn to come, she decided she was too cozy and I had to be induced.  We knew at that point we would have our work cut out for us with this stubborn little girl.  Induction went well, until we realized she was facing the wrong way (of course she couldn't be normal).  After hours of trying to turn her, she finally made her debut.  To my amazement she was perfect, not malnourished, not lacking anything, and she actually weighed more that Camryn.

Before Ellisyn was born I was worried that I couldn't love her like I loved Camryn.  I was worried that I wouldn't have enough love to share, but it's utterly amazing the immediate love and connection I felt the first time I looked into her beautiful eyes.  I was in love yet again.  When Elli was an infant my father-in-law used to tease me that she had to be plugged in because she was literally attached to my hip and if you removed her she just cried and cried.  That baby loved her mommy!

I am so thankful for Ellisyn's fun-loving spirit.  She is determined to have fun with whatever she is doing.  I tell her on a daily basis that she better be glad she's cute.  She is a booger, but she is also a very sweet child who understands when an apology is necessary.  She is strong-willed and determined often times to the point of it getting her into trouble, but that determination is definitely a God given quality that she'll use for His glory one day, once she learns how to use it appropriately.  She was once a girl of few words, but now you can't get her to stop talking.  I'm thankful for her little phrases that bring an instant smile to my face like, "UGH! REALLY?!," "You got it dude",  "I love you big much!"

I am also thankful for her subtle reminders that she is listening to what we teach her.  From her made up songs about "God, Jesus" to her practicing counting and saying her "ABCDs".  I am also thankful that she is easy to read.  Being the middle child can be so hard because you're too little to do what big Sissy does and too big to do what baby brother does.  It's hard to know where you fit in.  I'm thankful that she has such a big personality and expresses her emotion so well that I can see when she's feeling like a middle child and meet her need to belong or be included.  I don't want her to ever feel like she has to be like Camryn or Crew because she is clearly unique and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Today I am thankful for my three year old ball of fire, test the limits kind of gal, full speed ahead, tough as nails, sweet as pie, playful, sensitive, headstrong, beautiful, shy, one of a kind...My Elle Belle!

Elli, thank you for being exactly who you are. I hope you are always comfortable in your skin because you are amazing! Thank you for reminding me that smiling and having fun should always be a top priority in life.  You, my sweet girl, are going to do incredible things in life!  Thank you for loving me "big much" and supplying me with endless "wittle and big kisses".  These will be forever cherished! I love you Ellisyn Michelle!