The Dirty "J" Word...Judgement

My inspiration came from my Bible study this morning.  Today I encountered Matthew 7, and it deals a lot with the topic of judgement.  I was specifically drawn to verses 1 & 2, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  I originally began a Facebook status going a completely different direction, but something told me to just delete because God was telling me something else today, and I think He may even be telling someone else the same thing...Maybe it's you, maybe it's even just one specific person who needs to hear these words today, or maybe somewhere deep down inside, it's many of us.  Whatever the case may be, I felt led to share so here goes.

Let's go ahead and clear the air a little and be completely honest with ourselves for a minute. We are ALL guilty of casting judgement from time to time.  Whether it be in our hearts and minds, gossiping about someone else, or when we explode with a judgmental puke fest on someone when we're at our wits end.  Either way its a sin, in our minds or out in the open.  Maybe it's someone not disciplining their children the "right way" (AKA-your way).  Maybe it's walking into someone's house in disarray and thinking, "wow, this girl's a wreck just like her house!"  Maybe it's talking about how so and so doesn't cook for her family and instead stops at the drive thru night after night and leaves you saying how she doesn't love her kids like you do.  Maybe it's you looking at that person on drugs and saying, "what a dead beat.  How could they possibly choose a substance over the blessings God has given them?" Whatever it is, it's not right...(finger pointing at myself) 

Another glimpse into the judgment women cast is that they usually cast them to fellow women.  Why is that?

I don't know if it's completely a "woman thing" or not, but I know that many women struggle with comparison and it's usually one end of the spectrum or the other (in my experience).  It's either a woman who thinks that she has it all together and her way is the only way, or it's a woman who thinks that she stinks and everyone else has it all together so she tries and fails to be more like them.  The truth is, ladies, neither is correct!  Romans 3:23 says, "for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  Jesus also says in John 8:7, "...let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that none of us would be picking up that stone to throw it if Jesus was standing next to us verbalizing those instructions to us today. 

Whichever end of the spectrum you fall on, the results can be catastrophic.  For the woman who is constantly throwing her "wisdom" (AKA judgement) at others, she could be tearing down someone who is already believing the lie that she's unloved, ugly, not worth it, and questioning whether or not she's even necessary in this world.  For the one who is constantly judging herself against "Suzie Homemaker" down the road, she'll eventually come to the realization that she'll never be her or "Suzie Homemaker" will fail her by falling short of her expectations and/or could possibly lead her astray. There's definitely dangers to both sides.  Do you really want to be on either end?

So I ask you today, sister, which are you? Or can you find yourself identifying with both sides maybe in different areas of you life?  Whichever it is, let's start a new trend and kick comparison to the curb because the truth is as women we all have different struggles.  We have to hear what is expected of us from the world, from the size our brazier should be to the number we see on the scale as we grudgingly step on to it holding our breath and squinting our eyes all while hoping to see the "right" number.  We can all identify with one another in our feelings of inadequacies so let's stop pretending we have it all together and be real with each other.  Let's stop condemning one another for not doing it "my way" or not prioritizing things "the way I would."   The truth is, friends, God created us all to be unique so that we could serve His purpose in this world.  Being unique means that we are going to be different, we're going to prioritize differently, we're going to discipline our children differently (which is going to keep that unique thing going), and some of us (hold your breath) are not going to care a lick if our house is utter chaos.  Let's embrace those differences instead of judging them. Lets reaffirm one another instead of adding yet another insecurity to a lady's life.  Let's vow to encourage our sisters in Christ  and live out Ephesians 4:29 ("Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.").  When you feel the need to be critical or judgmental stop yourself, confess your thoughts to God and choose to instead encourage your sister because you have no idea what she may be facing.  Let's not put the off-brand band-aid of putting someone else down to make ourselves look and/or feel better because we all know those off-brand band-aids don't hold very long so that wound is going to start bleeding out sooner than later. 

Challenge:

• Make a commitment to write a woman an encouraging note once a week just to uplift and reaffirm her.
• When you start to hear those judgmental thoughts running through your head, stop right then and confess them.  
• Before confronting anyone with judgments and/or criticisms, spend much time in prayer and self-examinations to determine whether your motives are indeed honorable.  If not, confess it and leave it at the cross.
• Be an encourager whenever possible. Be real with your girlfriends and don't pretend  like you have it all together.  We shouldn't expect perfection from one another, but we should expect love and support from those who we identify so closely with!
• Let's revolutionize the way women respond to women!